The YALI west Africa regional leadership centre, cohort 10 training program has been quite enlightening. I will like to share part of the lessons learnt on how to influence peoples’s cooperation.
- Make people feel understood: I learnt that in the ideal world, people might make decisions, commitments, and judgement based on logic and sound reasoning. But in this world , people act in response to their preferences, feelings, and social influences they are not even aware of. That if they trust you and feel that you care about them, they are much likely to cooperate with you.
- Finding common grounds: I learnt that in finding a common ground, show people how their needs, values and dreams mesh with yours. To do so you have to understand their values and concerns, then show them how cooperating with you can help them achieve what they want. Also, be sympathetic with their feelings.
- Listen: I learnt that listening is the best way to make people feel understood. When listening, ask open-ended questions, the kind that invites people’s careful consideration and honesty. Try to understand what people mean without getting hung up on the literal meaning of their words.
- Don’t argue: I learnt that in business (and at home too) the person you defeat in an argument today may be the person whose cooperation you may need tomorrow. Arguments make people stake out positions and defend them, the more you try to prove them wrong, the harder they will resist you. Most time, when you win an argument, you lose an alley.
- Help people believe change is possible. This is clear so nothing further to add.